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Page 2 What is a Battered Woman? (Continued) Physical assault clearly has both emotional and physical effects. Battered women often have low self-esteem--that is, they don't think very highly of themselves anymore. It is emotionally damaging to go through the pain and fear, the uncertainty, and sense of failure that come from being the victim of repeated physical abuse from someone close to you. It's hard to value yourself as a person when someone is using you as a punching bag. Sexually abused women may feel humiliated and ashamed of their bodies. If you are sexually abused, you may become angry and resentful about sex. If you have sexual relations because you are afraid not to, or because he keeps at you until you give in, sex becomes an act of power and control over you --not an act of love. Emotional abuse may take the form of things said or done apart from physical assault which undermine your self-respect and self-confidence. For example, he may curse at you; call you names and insult you; constantly criticize you; embarrass you in public. He may put you down and tell you you can't do anything right. He may ignore your needs and refuse to talk to you or listen to you. He may be jealous and check up on everything you do. He may accuse you of doing things you haven't done. Maybe he convinces himself that you are having an affair and becomes obsessive about this idea. He may call you names. He may try to isolate you from other people and want to make all your decisions for you, to control your life. He may lie, break promises and contradict himself so that you no longer know what do believe. A woman in a battering relationship takes an emotional beating as well as a physical beating. Are You a Battered Woman? Battered women share some common emotional reactions to violence in the home. Do any of the following feelings and thoughts seem familiar? Are you afraid of him? Do you ever think of running away? Do you worry a lot? Do you feel like you can't relax? Are you always on guard, watching his moods, being careful what you do or say? Do you doubt your judgment and think maybe you are going crazy? Do you think it must be your fault? Do you blame yourself and think that somehow you deserve to be battered? Have you lost confidence in yourself? Do you feel confused, helpless, or depressed? Do you lack energy or have little interest left for things that used to seem important to you? Have you lost contact with other people: friends, family, co-workers, neighbors? Do you feel that you have no choice but to stay? Do you feel trapped and alone?
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